Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the fantastic daddies out there.

The Sgt. L Family tried to have family pictures done yesterday but BG was having no part of it so we managed to get them done today...

Happy Father's Day Sgt. BG and I love you very, very much.

Check Out This Article

This is a wonderful article to read. This soldier claims he is no hero, only doing his job. Doing his job saved his comrades. Kudos!!

I *Heart* Dennis Miller

Dennis Miller sums up Harry Reid. Check it out here.

Dealing

This is something that has crept through my mind many times because it's something we still deal with a year and a half after Sgt's return home from Iraq. I've posted before about seeing a counselor before he came home in an effort to try to get myself together to be able to help him with whatever we may encounter. It worked, to a degree. But there are just some things I can't do to help him and the only thing I can do is stand by him in hopes he'll come to me. When the "honeymoon" period ended, it ended. It was rough but I'm very fortunate in that he never took his anger or aggressions out on me; he has never laid so much as a finger on me. New Year's '06 was the first time I saw the effects of being in a war zone. People on the street behind us were shooting off fireworks and he shouted "DOWN! NOW!" I was in the back bedroom and the tone and volume of his voice scared me and I went running. He was in the living room and had the most "empty" look on his face. But what was "empty" to me was him in combat/survival mode. It took about 45 seconds for him to get his wits about him and he apologized for scaring me. I told him no worries and retreated to the bedroom to finish what I was doing but instead I cried. Sgt. came home with no physical scars but the emotional ones were slowly showing and I felt helpless. Truly 1000% helpless. I knew there was more to him than what was showing on the outside. His mannerisms had changed. I often found him speaking to me the same way he gave orders to his men. I tried my best to not correct him but there was one day that his anger got the best of him and he yelled at me. Now, we fight and have arguments but this was pure yelling unlike anything I've ever heard from him before. For the first time, he actually heard himself and he wept. Not so much because of what he said but more because of how he made me feel. He finally saw that there was something else going on inside and felt out of control.

To this day I can still look in his eyes and know that something is going on. It's not all war related but there have been so many residual effects it's become more of our daily life than I ever imagined. I know it sounds naive but this was new territory for us, as it is for so many, and a learning process and we continue to learn from it.

As we hang in limbo for another deployment, I try to be proactive and more conscious of the way we approach things and how I handle them. I've learned to be more sensitive to some things and less to others. I often put on my "big girl" pants and roll with the punches. One thing we are doing differently is we talk through issues that arise completely and not just enough to put a band-aid on it. Those band-aids cause more problems in the end than they solve in the beginning. It's tough to do sometimes. He was builder his last tour but since he has changed to the National Guard, he is a combat engineer dealing with IEDs and the likes, which is what he did when he was a Marine.

His deployment did a lot of things for our relationship on many different levels. On somethings it brought us closer together others not so much. One thing it did bring to light was how important we are to each other. Absence made our hearts grow fonder but reintegrating strained it and I would be lying if I said it didn't. I wish I had words of wisdom for spouses who are getting ready to go through this for the first time, especially new wives. Not that it's all that different but being newly married brings with it so many things to deal with anyway. I hang on to the words of the spouses who are on their 2nd and 3rd deployments. Communication is key and, for us, pride needs to be checked at the door.

The Sgt. L family is a team. We laugh together. We cry together. We irritate each other. We love each other. We support each other. We talk to each other. I still stomp my feet and slam doors but when I open it up, Sgt. is there for me, waiting with the patience of Job. It has taken a year and a half to learn to deal with things and we're still learning and we'll forever be tweaking our relationship.

The milspouses, moms/dads and girlfriends/fiances are my rocks my strengths. I lurk more than I comment but I have found I'm able to take something from each of you to help me on my path. The bird's eye views from our soldiers and vets also help keep me in check. Your view is just as important and I learn just as much from you. I truly hope to be able to meet some of you in person next year. You are all amazing and I'm humbled to be part of such a tightly knit community.

If You Give Mom a Muffin

This was sent to me by a good friend and you moms know just how true this is...

IF YOU GIVE A MOM A MUFFIN

If you give a Mom a muffin,
She'll want a strong cup of coffee to go with it.
She'll make herself some.
Her three year old will spill the coffee.
She'll wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she'll find dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over boots and bump into the box of Goodwill items.
Bumping into the Goodwill items will remind her she has to get these boxes in the car and out of her basement.
When she puts the boxes in the car, she'll find a bag of groceries and this will
remind her she has to cook dinner.
She will get out the chicken defrosting in the fridge.
She'll look for her cookbook (101 Things To Do With Chicken).
The cookbook will be sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the Netflix movie she's meant to mail and the preschool bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The checkbook will be in her purse that is being dumped out by her one year old.
She'll smell something funny.
She'll change the baby's diaper.
As she finishes up, she'll realize she brought the hand sanitizer down to the kitchen.
While she is throwing away the diaper and searching for the hand sanitizer, the
phone will ring.
Her three year old will answer and hang up.
She'll remember she wants to phone a friend not for coffee but a very strong drink.
Thinking of drinking will remind her that she was going to have a cup of coffee in order to stay awake for the rest of the day.
And chances are...
If she finds her cup of coffee (which she has to reheat by now),
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

Talking about Girly Bits - Boys Be Warned

Today BG had an appointment with an ENT to evaluate her for spurting nose bleeds that pop up from no where. I've googled and I've read and blah, blah, blah and I understand it can be normal but one little nose should.not.bleed.so.much. It doesn't help a dear friend of mine has a close family member recently diagnosed with leukemia and the nose bleeds were her symptom. The first time BG had one, Sgt. was on AT and she woke up crying, the same as every other night, and I walked in her room and she was covered head to toe in blood. The first thing I did was pick her up and grab some wipes to clean her up to see what was going on. The next thing I did was call my mom. At 1:30 a.m. Thank goodness she's an insomniac or she never would have heard the phone. Our doctor office nurse line is staffed by rejected rocket scientist. Has to be. Their answer: Dry air. Umm. Not so much. BG has had nose bleeds related to a dry nose/dry air and this wasn't the same. Besides, we use a cool mist humidifier to keep the air nice and moist. So, after about 15 minutes, it stopped. I changed her sheets and we slept together. The next one was about 2 weeks after that while she was outside blowing bubbles. A kitchen towel was the only thing I could grab and it soaked it completely. Immediate appointment with her doctor. She didn't see any sores in her nose or anything and told me the next one she would send us to an ENT. We've been waiting for our referral and I swear if the referral chick went any slower she would be going backwards. So, today was our day. She tells me BG picks her nose. Yes, but what two year old doesn't but it's not bleeding when she gets her finger out...it's days later. BUT I was "explained to in detail" about taking care of little noses and nose bleeds and to go back in three weeks. So, we walked out with our instructions for swabbing her nose with v aseline...we do anyway. Besides, the way this kid's nose runs, there is no way in hell it can be dry. Second big concern is that since BG is adopted, we have absolutely no family history on her. I tried to plead my case this way: You know when you hear a little noise in your car and your resident mechanic tells you there's nothing wrong. Well, I drive the car. I know it's normal knocks and ticks and this is different. Come to find out: I WAS RIGHT and my mechanic asks for ketchup with his crow. Same with my kiddo. No, I haven't been to medical school and the closest I've come to it is making our deductible every year at the doctor's office but I know my kid. I know her snotty nose and what ails her with each one. I know her cries. I know her whines and what they are calling for. I know what a dry air nose bleed is. I know my kid. I smiled, thanked them for seeing us and we went and gorged on french fries before I dropped her back off at school since I had my girly bits appointment today.

Oh, the girly bits and the doctor who digs for them. I love him. I really do and I was not shy about telling him so. He's out of my network so I'll be paying double to see him but he is worth it. It was also 100 degrees in there but I kept my socks on and he just stared at me. I told him it was for his sake: I have not been for my first spring pedicure yet and you could use the feet to cut steak. Thank you very much. He peered at me from behind his black rimmed glasses and told me to scoot down. Several years back I managed a jewelry store and we were chatting it up over my "visit" and he told me he would come see me for a gift for his wife. I laughed and told him he wouldn't know my smile if I came up and bit him on the tushie and my company frowned on my showing the bits at the store. He chuckled and told me it would hurt a little. Little my ass.

Today I was greeted with "So glad you decided to come back after three years." It wasn't three years, technically. I was there in '04 on schedule. I missed '05 while Sgt. was in Iraq and '06 I was adjusting to being a mom to a toddler. I'm current. Two years. Thank you very much. Again: "scoot down." We talked about Iraq and National Guard and all that goes with it but it really is hard to discuss such topics with him poking around and me wondering if his hand is going to pop through the underside of my abdomen. Holy moly. Examination completed. My bits are intact and I had nice conversation. He shook my hand and thanked me for not gouging his eyes out with the claws I call feet. Smiled and told me he would see me the next time I felt the urge.

I know it sounds like he is a total ass but he is to die for. I started seeing him about 8 years ago after my regular totally hot doctor left the practice. The only other doctor I've like just as much was when I was in college. Dude wore small nap corduroy pants (all year long) with velcro tennis shoes. I loved him. I even drove 4 hours a couple of times to see him.

As a parting gift, he gave me bags full of all sorts samples - to help offset the extra 900% I'll pay for seeing him. Thanks doc.